Life Through My Eyes
by Legion13
Summary: Noel writes narrative poems about her life so far. First fanfic. Rated K for a little drama later on, but not too violent. Review and favorite if you liked it.
1. Chapter 1

_**Life Through My Eyes**_

_****_A/N: I didn't want to keep using the horizontal lines because I thought they would be pretty annoying, but sorry if its a bit cramped up. PM me or review if you think I should use the horizontal lines to seperate different sections of the poem. First chapter. More author notes at the bottom.

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_Chapter 1: Entering the Entrance of Life_

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Christmas

The day I was born

Or at least, that's what I was told.

The first thing I remembered were the burning fields of Ikaruga.

Why was I there?

All I felt was death creeping up on me…

Until I was adopted by the Vermillion family.

Nobles, important people, right?

I didn't care though.

I was just happy that they expressed care,

Love,

Support.

These were the characteristics of my parents.

Brave,

Strong,

And I loved them.

Loneliness

Terror

Death

That's all I felt that day.

That monster petrified me.

I was sure that I would die.

I just wanted to tell my parents I loved them,

Before it all came crashing down…

I closed my eyes…

But the only thing that crashed were my hands,

Under the intense weight of something, but what?

I opened my eyes…and saw two guns.

…What?

Even to this day I still don't understand.

Why?

Why me?

All of a sudden, the monster was dead.

It felt like my mind left my body.

…But after all these years, I finally understand.

Shy

Awkward

Clumsy

Those are words to describe me at the Academy.

Tsubaki

Makoto

Carl

These are the names of the people that meant the most.

They were my meaning of life.

They were my first friends.

They were my everything.

Energetic

Eccentric

Loving

That is what Makoto was to me.

She was my best friend,

And I won't let anyone take her away from me.

What would I be without her?

Certainly a complete wreck.

...Even if she did eat too much,

I still loved her.

Intelligent

Serious

Comforting

That is what Tsubaki was to me.

She was my other best friend, alongside Makoto.

She taught me so much,

And I appreciate that.

Even if she was a bit uptight.

...No, REALLY uptight.

I still loved her too.

Adorable

Perceptive

Endearing

That is what Carl was to me.

Ive never met someone so cute in my life.

...Maybe i'm saying too much, but really, he was.

And he was so smart, yet so young...

I really appreciated his presence, perhaps a little too much though.

No, he deserves every bit of love and care.

Jin

No, Jin Kisaragi.

That boy…

Mysterious,

Aloof,

And a sense of leadership.

Those are words to describe him.

It was almost as if he hated me.

He gave me these looks, but I never did anything to him…

Or did I?

Maybe Tsubaki knows…

Makoto and I are positive that she likes him.

Perhaps if we got her to be more open about herself,

Maybe she will finally confess her feelings to him.

…Oh my god, what am I saying?

I need to mind my own business…

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A/N: ...And I hope I did good on this. Once again, sorry if its cramped up. Please review, and favorite/follow if you liked it. Next chapter is coming tomorrow :)


	2. Chapter 2

_**Life Through My Eyes**_

**Chapter 2**

For the sake of my family,

I had to join the NOL under special circumstances.

…But why?

It seems like I am forced to suffer.

"_If you join now, the Vermillion's nobility is restored."_

That's what he said to me,

So I joined six months earlier.

For Edgar and Claire.

Jin Kisaragi

Why?

Why do you treat me like dirt?

What have I done to deserve this?

…I think I know the answer to that.

Nothing

Nothing at all.

Yet you perceive me as trash,

Garbage,

An obstacle.

If only I knew why…

Maybe I wouldn't be so weak.

When I told you about him,

The SS class criminal Ragna the Bloodedge,

You had this weird look on your face,

And immediately dismissed me.

When I left, I swear I heard insane laughter…

"_HahahahahaHAAAAAHAHAHAAAAA"_

It still plays back in my head sometimes.

Why did you abandon your post?

For Ragna the Bloodedge?

I remember when I had those questions,

But now I know.

I was assigned to bring you back,

And not engage Ragna the Bloodedge.

But I was really curious to know what he looked like.

Ha…I remember thinking those thoughts then…

But I also remember seeing him.

Then again, how could I forget him?

Unopened eyes, green hair, and a jet black suit of Intelligence.

He kind of creeped me out,

But I wasn't really thinking back then.

His name was…Hazama.

Captain Hazama of Intelligence.

He was assigned to help me with my mission,

So I thought nothing of him.

Besides one thing.

How could he see with his eyes closed 24/7?

…Or maybe those were his eyes?

If only I knew the answer at that time.

After I was dropped off, I was surprised.

I saw…Carl Clover.

My immediate instincts were to hug him,

But something told me he was here for something, serious.

After all, why else would he be in Kagutsuchi?

He asked me about Ragna the Bloodedge.

I had little to know info about him, and even if I did.

It was classified.

Then, all of a sudden,

I was hit by a wave of memories,

But they weren't mine.

Carl's…memories?

I still don't know why that happened.

All I know is that I was confused,

And then it happened.

…I was shocked,

Baffled,

Confused,

Because he just attacked me,

For no reason.

If it wasn't for Bolverk, I would've been dead.

But with the wounds he had, he was an easy opponent.

After the battle, a deep and ridiculously loud voice sounded.

Along with the body of a very scruffy man.


	3. Chapter 3

_**Life Through My Eyes**_

_****_A/N: WOW I have not updated this in a while. Sorry guys, i've been extremely busy this past month, so I had no time to post this chapter, but thanks to LilyAceThompson17 I got inspiration to write more, so I thank you. Anyways, here is chapter 3.

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**Chapter 3: Calamity Trigger END**

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Why was he suddenly scolding me?

Surely he knows Carl attacked me first.

Scruffy

Obnoxious

Noisy

Yeah, that definitely describes this man.

I tried convincing him

Time and time again

That this wasn't my fault.

But it felt like I was talking to a wall.

Should I run, or confront him?

That's what I thought that day.

But facing my fears…

I fought him.

I remember that day clear as the summer sky.

"_HAHAHA! I KNEW you weren't lying!"_

That's what he said.

After all the fighting, he finally apologized though.

…What a waste of time.

I decided to go back to HQ after that.

Misery

…And more misery.

That's how I felt after I talked to Captain Hazama.

I just can't seem to trust him.

But this misery was nothing compared to the aftermath.

Disruption

Shock

Pain

That is what I felt,

When I saw Jin lying unconscious after his battle with…

Ragna the Bloodedge.

…

I'm still shocked from that.

Weren't we given orders NOT to engage him?

Jin just never listened, did he?

I make fun of the situation now, but back then I surely didn't.

I had to go after Ragna,

I just had to.

It was like some magnetic pull,

With the force of the gods,

Pulling me.

Who is Ragna?

What does he look like?

What does his voice sound like?

It seemed like those questions were answered,

When I stood in front of the gargantuan Sheol Gates.

All of a sudden I was struck with memory,

After memory,

After memory.

There was a boy,

But I never met him before.

Mysterious

Curious

Confusion

And then this girl came.

I will never forget her.

She had long, silver hair with a blade at the end.

With very pale skin and a bodysuit.

She stared at me and said all these monotone, robotic things.

But the scariest part about it,

Was that I was subconsciously repeating everything she said.

Even now I am frightened thinking about it.

Why did I lose control?

How did I lose control?

I didn't know back then, but now I know.

I was forced to fight, but I didn't want to.

I would have died back then if it wasn't for him.

Thank you, Ragna the Bloodedge.

We saved each other.

I can't believe I didn't realize,

How much you mean to me.

Without you, I wouldn't be alive.

Without me, you wouldn't be alive.

So from the bottom of my heart,

Thank you.

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A/N: Anddddd...thats the end of that chapter. Its shorter than my other ones, but I really liked it because I got a little emotional when I wrote it. R&R and favorite of course. Thanks for reading.


	4. Chapter 4

_**Life Through My Eyes**_

A/N: Another chapter for Life Through My Eyes. Enjoy.

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**Chapter 4:Continuum Shift BEGIN**

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Targeted for assassination…

Why did my life have to be like that?

Life can really be cruel…

Ragna,

Why?

Why were you so mean?

I was heartbroken by what you said…

"_Just…go away…"_

Why did everyone treat me so harshly?

And some of them still do,

But I'm stronger now.

Much stronger.

And I won't let anyone hurt my friends.

…Speaking of friends,

I ran into Makoto that day.

Relief

Happiness

Life

That's how I felt when I saw her.

I was so shocked I stuttered at every word.

I told her everything that happened,

But I left out Captain Hazama.

Even she was suspicious about him…

Thinking about it now,

I should've told her about it.

Soon enough,

She left.

Good moments never last, do they?

What happened next sure wasn't happy…

Guess what?

I ran into an injured Carl yet again!

I feel bad for him,

But its like he does it to himself.

And guess what else?

He tried to attack me again!

Wait, theres more!

Bang came to the wrong conclusion,

YET AGAIN!

I just don't like that guy!

…Ok, maybe that was a bit mean,

But he gets really annoying sometimes.

I told him to look after Carl,

And he did.

So I guess I can thank him for that.

I ran into Sector Seven after that.

Specifically the Red Devil.

I know I say this a lot but…

Why does the madness follow me?

Am I a magnet for evil?

Do I attract trouble?

Can I relate to anyone?

Does the world hate me?

Does my future lie in a dark void?

I remember when I asked myself,

Those deep, mind-churning questions

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A/N: Thanks for reading. R&R and favorite if you liked it.


	5. Chapter 5

_**Life Through My Eyes**_

A/N: Sorry I haven't posted in a couple of days, I was busy doing other things. Here it is, chapter 5 for Life Through My Eyes.

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**Chapter 5: Mental Destruction**

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…Tsubaki…

I've never seen you like this before.

You crushed my mind.

My body.

My spirit.

My everything.

Even to this day,

I still wonder…

Were those events real?

Did that really happen?

Did Tsubaki really try,

To kill me?

To end my life?

I get the chills just thinking about that.

The fact that my best friend,

Attempted to end my life.

…

I just don't understand.

Why does my life have to be filled with horror?

Shock?

Madness?

Sorrow?

Pain?

Any negative word you can think of,

That's how my life was.

We went through our entire childhood together.

At the Academy,

Those were the best years of our lives.

…Did that mean nothing to her?

I loved her.

And she loved me.

…Or did she?

I remember fighting her.

My every thought.

My every move.

And I could imagine her every thought.

And see her every move.

I cared about her so much,

And I still do.

But seeing her like that…

It destroyed me.

It broke my heart.

It turned me into an emotional wreck,

Like I wasn't already one…

I felt like a preposterous joke.

Like I didn't need to exist.

My life clearly was in shambles.

Was she brainwashed?

Was she insane?

At that moment, I didn't know.

All I knew, was that I wanted to save Tsubaki.

…I NEEDED to save Tsubaki.

Her soul needed my guidance.

It felt like I was dancing with the devil,

Rather than fighting my best friend.

I won the battle physically,

But she crushed me mentally.

I can't believe Hazama ordered her to kill me!

..That JERK!

From that point on, I swore I would end his life.

…But that only caused more pain.

I went to the top floor of the NOL building,

With the goal of ceasing Hazama's…

No, TERUMI's existence.

I shouldn't have done that, though.

Because it caused nothing regret.

No wonder Ragna always calls me an idiot…

I never think before I take action.

And because of that…

My emotions went wild.

I lost my sanity.

All my hope,

All my thoughts,

All my power,

All of myself,

Gone in an instant.

When I was turned into a mindless robot.

…I went by the name,

Mu-12.

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A/N: Thanks for reading. R&R and favorite if you liked it. Hope it made up for the couple of days I missed.


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